Commitment
by wilsonstories
Summary: Sonny is ready for the next step, but what about Will. Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

Every bit of text in italic is a memory. Gabi has been gone for about six months now and they have lived as a happy little family ever since.

**Will's POV**

"I need to think, Sonny."

His brown eyes seem to darken with sadness, and the way he bites his lip tells me enough. My eyes soften when I continue:

"I'll be back in about 45 minutes… I just need to think about this for a bit."

He nods now, still chewing his lip. He rubs his hands together as he does when he is nervous. I smile a little smile and then I am out of the door. I have no destiny in mind, so I just wander around to let my mind go free.

He bought a house. A proper house with a garden, three bedrooms, and two bathrooms. He just showed me the paperwork and a number of pictures of every corner of the property. He already knows which room is for Arianna, and which one is for us. And then he showed a picture of a little room saying: "And this one is for whomever comes along." The way he looked at me told me he wasn't talking about his or my brothers visiting. He talked about a swing set for in the garden, and a little name plate next to the front door. And when he showed me the last picture his eyes sparkled when he said: "and it has a white picket fence". I didn't say anything for a while, and he was too enthusiastic to notice my silence. He just planned and planned out loud, while he looked through the pictures again. Until suddenly he said: "You haven't said anything… what do you think." And that is when I said I needed to think. That is where I put my coat on and reached for the door while trying to smile. And now here I am wandering the streets of Salem trying to wrap my mind around this. Am I ready for this next step? Is this what I really want? I sigh slightly impatiently with myself, realising that my old fear of commitment will never completely go away. That with every new step it comes rushing back as a wave rolling onto the shore. I lean against the wall and realise I am staring at the exact spot where he kissed me for the very first time.

"_Will no, no it didn't…"_

"_Excuse me?"_

_I laugh nervously, trying to keep my brain together even though he is slowly but surely moving into my space. His brown eyes confuse me and I try to respond to the things he says. _

"_I know, I know the reason why you backed out of tonight, it's because of what my mum said."_

"_Oh, no, I don't…"_

_Making a straight sentence is suddenly too difficult, but I do try:_

"_I'm sorry, I don't know what you are talking about."_

_He softly tells me that I must have overheard his mum talking about me to his dad and the sweetness in his eyes make me look away. I decide not to deny what he said, but I do try to brush it off in another way:_

"_Yeah, well, it's not like, uhm, I mean, it's not like I haven't heard that several times before… so…"_

_I try to smile, but I realise it probably cannot cover up the insecurities that are taking a hold of me. I feel like I am naked in front of him. That he can see straight into my soul, that he must see how I feel about him by just looking into my eyes. _

"_Listen man, she…"_

_Now he smiles, and despite my nervousness I would swear he is just as nervous as I am. He lets out a deep breath and says:_

"_She doesn't know you… the way that I do."_

_The soft curve in his eyebrow seem to underline his words and I feel butterflies in my stomach when I look at him being so close in front of me. _

"_She has no right to say those things about you… none at all"_

_I cannot believe he is saying these things to me. It is everything I wanted to hear, hoped to hear, but was sure I would never actually hear him say. My eyes never let go of his face and I have to start off with a whisper to make sure my voice won't break:_

"_Yes she does... I mean she is right… I am not good enough for you."_

_I nod as if I want him to know that I would understand if he would turn around and walk away. I try to smile but isn't really a smile but rather an expression of sadness and regret. But instead of moving away, he moves closer towards me and I would swear my heart is nearly pounding out of my chest when he says:_

"_Why don't you let me be the judge of that…"_

_I don't move when he leans in. I sort of just wait to catch him. And when his lips touch mine my world seems to fall into place. Our first kiss is quick but feels like an eternity all at once. And without hesitation my hand moves up to grab the back of his neck. My fingertips touch his hair and when he breaks the kiss I just smile a goofy smile._

"_Not pushing me away?"_

_I shake my head and pull him back against me. Never will I push him away again. Right now my life has started and I have never felt more alive than I do right now. While he is leaning against me I can feel his heart pounding just like mine and I decide that for the rest of my life I want his heart to beat for me. _

I smile remembering that first kiss. I am sure it must have been slightly clumsy, but Sonny always agreed when I said it was perfect. One night we were cuddling in bed and softly talking as we didn't want to go to sleep yet. He told me that, for the first time in his life, he allowed someone to touch his hair because he actually liked it. And by now touching his hair is like second nature, something I have to do several times a day, so that when he is not with me I can easily imagine the soft, silky feeling of it against my skin.

I decide to continue my wander around town and soon I am standing at Horton Town Square. While my eyes screen the area I realise I have so many memories on this square. The white couch is where we did our homework together even though I was planning on making out. The little corner booth is where he came to see me when everyone was on my back because I worked for EJ. I still remember the sparkle I felt when he touched my knee, and how nice it felt to touch his. And on the other side we talked about coming out, me crying, him as always listening and giving advice. The next memory makes me smile and I can almost feel the warmth from his body as I did then.

"_Hey."_

"_Hi…"_

_I cannot stop the smile that paint my face when I see him. He looks good today in a blue shirt, and his hair is as perfect as ever. He reaches out to touch my shoulder, returning my smile with one of his million watt ones. _

"_Thinking about what you are going to ask Santa for Christmas this year?"_

"_No, I already got it."_

_My eyes find his and I don't ever care that that must have sounded cheesy. I just need him to know how happy he makes me. His eyes hold mine for a while and then he looks down while starting to apologise. I don't want to hear it and I don't want to think about Gabi and the baby, so I brush it away telling him he has nothing to apologise for. He takes another step so his body is very lightly brushing against mine. I can hear the sweet concern in his voice:_

"_Look at you, you're shivering…"_

_I am not sure whether the shivers are from the cold or from the fact that he is so close to me, but I smile it away:_

"_Well not really… but it is freezing."_

"_Well, it's December…"_

_While he talks he takes of his blue scarf and tucks it around my neck. I laugh to hide my emotions, suddenly feeling a lot warmer as he seems to move even closer to me and I can feel the warmth from his body. _

"_It looks better on you anyway…"_

The way he looked at me that day made me feel like a million bucks. He once told me that what he really wanted to do was to take me home and make love to me as he thought I looked to handsome and cute. I wish he would have. I mean, the coffee to warm up was great, but his original idea would have been better. Even though we have been together years, making love to him is still as special now as it was then. When I am that close to him it still feels like I have found my safest place. And the scarf… I still wear it every day during the winter. A while ago he wanted to throw it away but I was just in time to rescue it. I remember his raised eyebrows: "you still want to keep it?", and the way I just leaned in to kiss him after which I said: "I will always keep this." And his smile was all soft and mushy as if I just picked him some stars. I sigh deeply while leaving the square, and soon I am ordering a coffee at the club from Ben.

"You OK Will?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Ben."

I chose a table in the corner. I stare at the poster that says 'caffinated', and wish this club was still a coffee house. I miss the red furniture, and the homely atmosphere that was so characteristic of the coffee house. It felt like it was a place I could come home to, a place to hang out on the couch (preferably with Sonny), and sit at the little table next to the counter. That coffee house might even hold more memories than the square does. At the coffee house we held hands for the first time. We had our second kiss there after a date, of which we are still not sure whether it really was a date. And of course, it is the place where I came out to him. Where we sat on the couch and talked about the family Christmas photo and family acceptance of who we are. It is where we made up after a fight, and then I asked him to spend Christmas together. It is where I held him in my arms for the first time when I wanted my coffee-for-life card. The best times were after closing time, when it was just me and him. Sometimes we talked endlessly, and sometimes he worked and I studied. But it was always perfect and safe.

I look around the club. Even though it is not the coffee house I do like it though. In its short existence we have already made memories here. And not in the least on New Year's Eve. I remember everyone counting down with T as the director on the bar. All I wanted to do was find Sonny and kiss the life out of him. So that is exactly what I did. I smile at the memory, how we left quite soon after to curl up in our bed and put our new year's resolutions in Sonny's tin. Mine was to develop myself as a writer so I could provide for my family. And that is when my eyes find the table in the middle and I remember how proud he was of me.

"_Gabi and I are going to handle everything, unless you don't trust us…"_

_He walks around me to sit down on the chair next to me. He moves a big black bag away and I answer:_

"_I, I trust you, it's just that we made this awesome pumpkin costume for Ari and if she keeps her hat on it is going to be the best thing ever."_

"_Gabi and I are going to make tons of pictures, we are going to video chat and I am not bringing this shirt back to the store."_

_He lifts the bag up again to hand it to me and the smug smile on his face tells me he is quite proud of himself. _

"_What?"_

"_Yes, my boyfriend will not be outdone by some tweet wearing literary types."_

_My boyfriend. I still enjoy the sound of that._

"_I don't even own tweet…"_

_My hands find a soft present and I pull it out of the bag. _

"_Exactly."_

_He is definitely proud of himself. I hold the shirt up, moved by his sweet gesture. He is just sitting there looking at my face. His million watt smile is radiating my way and for the umpteenth time I count myself lucky with the man beside me. _

"_I love it… thank you."_

_I lean in so I can thank him properly, the way that boyfriends thank each other. Our kiss is firm and as we have grown used to, we kiss twice. My hand goes through his hair as it has done since the first kiss. _

"_I am so proud of you… and your essay was amazing…"_

I remember my short lived panic when I heard that. But when I saw the pride and the earnest love in his eyes I realised it was OK for him to know absolutely everything about me. When he suddenly became insecure and wondered whether he could live up to that I grabbed his hand. The intimacy in that moment is what I will never forget and I remember my whispering reassurance: "You already have". And I had never meant anything as much as I meant that. In that moment, while I softly stroked his hand, I realised that everything I had become was because of him, because of his support, and his never ending believe in who I am.

Suddenly I am on my feet and rushing out of the club. I hear Ben shout a goodbye while I continue my run home. I don't stop and when I am finally in front of our apartment door I have to lean over to catch my breath. When it has returned to a slightly more normal pattern I open the door and walk in. He stands up from the couch immediately and the red around his eyes tell me that he has been crying. I suddenly feel guilty and am not sure what to do or say. He clears his throat and then he says softly:

"You're back…"

I nod, just staring at the man I have been thinking about for the past hour. The man who kissed me in front of the café, who gave me his scarf when I was cold, who listened to me when I needed someone to talk to, who gave me a shirt because he was proud of me, who cuddled with me on the couch in the middle of the town square, who kissed me at midnight and then took me home because he wanted to be together, the man who features prominently in all my dearest memories. When he speaks again I realise I have been quiet for a while and it must not be very encouraging for him that I am just standing here staring at him.

"So… where did you go?"

His eyes avoid mine and seem unable to go higher than my chest. It takes me less than a second to walk towards him and pull him in my arms. The way I walk into his body makes him take a few steps back. The bedroom door is closed and I push him against it, hiding my hands in his hair and kissing him passionately. He is taken off guard, but kisses me back with the same enthusiasm. But then I feel how he breaks the kiss. I am too excited and just whisper with my lips against his:

"Sonny…."

"No, Will…"

When I open my eyes I find his brown ones swimming in tears. They are not falling yet, but they are definitely ready to roll down his cheeks. I suddenly feel ashamed for walking out on him and then returning and just kissing him without saying anything. I let go and turn around. He steps away from the door and takes a deep breath:

"We need to talk first, Will."

I nod. Then my eyes find the pictures of the property, still laid out as they were when I left. I walk over to them and soon I pick one up. I look up and find Sonny standing against the kitchen counter, wiping one tear away that eventually did fall down.

"Sonny…"

Again I walk towards him, but this time I just stand in front of him holding a picture. I hold it so he can see it and whisper softly:

"I hope that who-ever comes along to live in this little room, has beautiful brown eyes, and perfect black hair…."

Now I do take him in my arms because he looks like he could do with a hug.

"Will…"

That is all he whispers and his soft sobs against neck make me rub comforting circles on his back.

"Sonny, I love you… I just… you know… commitment is something that scares me sometimes… and you bought a house… for me and our daughter… and then you mentioned another little person for us to look after… and I was just… overwhelmed…"

The way he holds on to me tells me that this past hour has been one of the worst of his life. He is clinging to me as if he will never let me go again. Slowly he calms down and without moving I hear his muffled voice against my chest:

"I thought I scared you away…"

I just squeeze him against me and shake my head:

"No chance, baby."

He breathes out, slowly and deeply, as if the weight of the world is lifted from his shoulders. He leans up and softly brushes my lips with his:

"So where did you go…"

I smile and shrug:

"Everywhere… I guess."

His brown eyes don't let mine go and I pull him back in so I can whisper in his ear:

"I went back to the place where my life started… at the café where you kissed me. I went to the Town Square where we sat down together so many times… and I went to the club where I remembered all the beautiful moments we had both at the club and the coffee house. And I realised something…"

"What…"

Now he is stroking my back as if to calm me down, and just like during our first kiss I feel my heart pound in my chest. But I don't hesitate, and without a doubt I let him see straight into my soul, when I answer softly:

"I am nothing without you…"

**Dear everyone reading and commenting. Thanks for all your support, it means a lot to me. This is another one shot and as always I hope you like it! Let me know what you think as that is always the best part of my day! **


	2. Chapter 2

**I really enjoyed writing a memory fic, so here is chapter two. There are just too many scenes that deserve some attention. This fic is in Will's POV, except for some memories which are remembered by Sonny.**

We are sitting on the floor, between the couch and the coffee table. The pictures of the new house are scattered around us and with a smile on my face I listen to Sonny telling me about all his plans. I lean into his body a bit more and suddenly realise I have not heard much of what he just said as I am busy staring at his handsome face. He suddenly looks at me and asks:

"You really went to the places that reminded you of us?"

I nod and lace my fingers through his.

"So… what's your favourite memory…"

I frown while I look at his bowed down head. My hand reaches out to cup his chin so I can make him look at me:

"I don't have a favourite, baby… I like them all…."

His eyes have a little light in them and I can't help feeling proud for being the reason for their sparkle. I lean in and kiss him. When I let him go he sighs happily while resting his head on my shoulder. He asks me to tell him which memories I thought about and I softly tell him the little pieces of our history that made me come home a few hours earlier. I can feel him smile when I talk about our first kiss, the Christmas scarf, and the tweet shirt. And when I finished my list of memories he whispers:

"You're so sweet."

I just squeeze his hand and plant a kiss in his hair:

"So, which moments do you remember…"

He sits up straight and frowns at me:

"All of them…"

"No, I mean…"

He lays his head back down and it is quiet for a while. Then he starts talking, softly and intimately, obviously talking about a memory that is dear to him.

"_So, what's up?"_

"_Nothing… it's just nice seeing you this happy."_

"_You know why I am this happy…"_

_His blue eyes are only inches away from mine. His strong arm is safely curled around my neck, and as always his fingers have found one of my hoodie strings to play with. I just lean into the crook of his arm, forgetting the world around us, while I am held captive by his ocean blues. _

"_I'm with you…"_

_I swear I can hear violins playing. We both lean in, but before we kiss, he softly touches our noses together. Don't they call that an Eskimo kiss? His kiss is soft and tender, and when he shifts a little bit so he can lean in even further, I feel the butterflies stir in my stomach. I remember him while having such a difficult time coming out, and now he is kissing me in the middle of pub without hesitation, and without haste. His lips linger on mine for a while before he pulls back to stare into my eyes._

"_I had fun today…"_

"_Me too."_

_The noise he makes is the combination of a sigh and a laugh. I grab his hand and explain:_

"_I feel like it has been such a long time since I've seen you this relaxed, you know… because you have been under so much pressure lately. _

"_Me? What about you? You got in fight with Nick, you know, and you agreed to help me out with the baby."_

_I lean my head back and laugh softly, feeling safe while he is surrounding me. _

"_Ariana Grace is going to have an amazing life. And you're… and WE're going to make that happen… no matter what."_

_I can see the emotions on his face. The endless thank you's reflected in his eyes, while he says softly:_

"_Thank you… sounds like you really thought this through…"_

_Although he smiles when he says that, I see the insecurity shining through, as if he needs a bit more confirmation that I am in this, that I am by his side and am not planning on going anywhere. I lift my head from its comfortable position and look straight into his eyes._

"_I did… I want you in my life, Will, I want you to be happy…"_

_He shakes his head, and I can see the happy tears in his eyes when he leans in to kiss me again. Firmer this time than the first time. And while his arm stays comfortably around my neck, his other hand comes up and cups my face. He is holding my head as if it belongs to him and I like it. The first time he did that it was New Year's Eve, just after I told him about my resolution. It led to a steamy love making session to ring in the New Year. And ever since I hoped he would hold me and kiss me like that again, but never could I guess he would do it in a public place for everyone to see. _

We are both quiet after he shared that memory and I let go of his hand so I can wrap him up in my arms. He lets me pull him against my chest and I whisper while my breath warms his ear:

"Coming out was hard… but being with you has always felt right, Sonny. So why shouldn't I kiss you in a pub…"

He shrugs and answers:

"I was just a bit surprised, I guess, that you were so comfortable doing that… But don't worry, I really, really liked it…"

"Good… and by the way… playing basketball with you turns me on…"

He is laughing in my arms and he looks up to find my eyes:

"Always one thing on your mind, Horton…"

"Well, what do you expect… I have cute boyfriend."

He is happy, I can feel it in the way he is like liquid in my arms, moulded against my chest as if he was made to fit against it. I listen to him speak, while I hear an undertone of insecurity:

"Brian said you told him to stop flirting with me…"

I nod, not sure how to feel about that moment.

"You do know that he would never make any chance with me because of you…"

I look down and find his brown eyes looking up at me again. I smile shyly and whisper:

"I know… but if he tries again I will punch him in his face…"

Suddenly my mind goes back to a memory I wish I could erase.

_I want to speak to him. I want to tell him I love him, and that I am sorry. I want to tell him I will move a mountain to make it up to him, that I want to spend every minute of my life making him happy, making him smile. I am nearing the coffee house and I can see the light coming through the blinds. I reach to the door handle but the moment I look through the window I freeze. For a moment I cannot breath and then I am torn between walking in and showing Brian all the corners of the coffee house, and walking away to find a dark corner so I can cry as much as I want. I don't want to look at it, but I can't not look at it. My eyes are glued to the way he is holding Sonny, his fingers in his black hair. That was my place, I was the person who was allowed to do that. But now I am the one standing outside and he is the one kissing the love of my life. But what breaks my heart in a thousand pieces is the way Sonny seems to return Brian's kiss as if he likes it. He used to look at me as if I was the only man he ever thought about, the only man he would ever love. But right in front of me he is kissing another man with an enthusiasm I hoped would only be reserved for me. They break apart and I realise they are coming outside. I quickly hide in a dark corner, and wish the earth would swallow me whole the moment Brian sees me standing there. I have never felt smaller in my life, and to make it worse, he wraps his arm around Sonny's neck while they walk away from the coffee house. I watch as they go, my heart aching when I see arrogant and smug Brian filling my space. I realise Sonny has moved on, I am no more than an ex-boyfriend to him. I arrived at the coffee house as a determined man, ready to fight for love. But I am leaving as broken man, realising that love is sometimes nothing but hurt._

"You OK, Will?"

I hear the concern in his voice and I try to convince him:

"Of course, why wouldn't I be…"

He sits up and turns around so he can face me.

"You suddenly feel tense… what is it?"

I look into his brown eyes so close to mine and relax slightly. I smile and shake my head:

"It's nothing… it's stupid."

I stand up and avoid his eyes while I say:

"I'm going to take a shower…"

Moments later I feel the water running over my bare skin and I breathe in deeply, trying to push that memory as far away as I can. I realise that, even now we are married, I am still insecure when it comes to Brian. And that night at the coffee house, was one of the worst moments in my life. I breathe in again and look up when the door of the cabin opens and Sonny walks in. The cabin is small, which means we are only inches apart. The water wets his skin and his hair, while we just stand there and look at each other. He breaks the silence:

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?"

I look down:

"It is in the past… can't we just forget it?"

"It obviously means something to you, Will… just tell me…"

He moves towards me and wraps me in his strong arms. I lean my head in the crook of his neck and I softly tell him about this not-do-happy memory. I don't hold back and I tell him how broken I was. When I am done he just holds me for a while and then he turns the water off. His eyes are slightly darker than normal when he says:

"I never knew you were there, Will."

"It's OK, Sonny, we broke up and you…"

He shakes his head and puts his hands on my cheek to stop me from talking.

"I have never loved him, Will."

The honesty in his eyes make me sigh with relieve and when he pulls me back into our hug he whispers softly:

"So the coffee house doesn't just have happy memories."

I kiss his bare shoulder and sigh:

"I guess not."

When we are both dry and wearing our sweats, he pours two glasses of wine. He does that often and I always enjoy the way he creates a homely atmosphere that is just us. When he hands me the glass he smiles slightly and says:

"Do you remember the time you came to the coffee house after you felt Ari kick for the first time?"

I take the wine from him and let him grab my hand to lead me to the couch. He sits down and this time I am the one leaning against his chest. I listen to his voice talking about that evening that is both a happy and a sad memory.

_The moment I saw it was Will and not my parents, my heart was pounding like crazy. He looks so determined and strong… and I had always found that incredibly sexy. He doesn't say anything but just takes his coat off and puts it on one of the chairs. When he looks at me his eyes are mirrors into his soul and I just listen to what he has to say._

"_You know… I was hoping that we could have a talk."_

_I want to talk too. If something wasn't holding me back I would tell him how much I love him. But instead I just say:_

"_I heard from Abigail you went to the sonogram. Everything OK with the baby?"_

_I bring up the baby because it reminds me immediately why he is all the way over there and I am here while my arms ache to hold him close. _

"_Yeah, everything is great. I mean, I actually saw her and I felt her kick."_

_He smiles when he says that. I can see the happiness on his face and it reminds me once again she will always be in his life. From now on they are a package deal, he is no longer just my Will. _

"_It's a girl…"_

"_Yeah… a girl."_

_While he talks about not being able to imagine not being in her life, all I see is Will with a little girl with big blue eyes and dark long hair. I see them walking in the town square, I see them coming into the coffee house, only barely saying hello to me, too engaged in their conversation about feeding the ducks at the pond. Even though I manage to respond to what he is saying I can't let this image go and even though he is only a few feet away he seems more out of my reach than ever. _

"_But there is something else that I want to…"_

"_What's that…"_

"_I want you to be in her life as well."_

_His blue eyes suddenly change and seem to plead for me to say yes. I realise that he is standing in front of me begging for me to take him back. I want to, I really do. But the image of the little girl sitting on his shoulders and shouting 'don't let me fall, daddy, is holding me back. Everything changed… they are a package deal. And I am not ready to say yes to that yet. _

"_I should not have said that."_

"_No, you shouldn't have…"_

_The moment I say that he makes an almost helpless gesture with his hands. As if he doesn't know what to do or say to make everything alright again. _

"_OK…"_

_He has always been an emotional guy and I can hear the tears in his throat. But he soon seems to find his strength and determination again because while he slowly walks towards me he says:_

"_Sonny, I can't tell you how much I wish every day that I didn't lie to you. I… I love you. And it is not like I am going to stop… I want to be with you… Sonny I swear… I mean if you just give me one for chance I will never lie to you again."_

_For the umpteenth time I realise that his eyes are even more beautiful from up close that I thought. Their depth, and their transparency always touch my heart, and I have to keep myself from jumping up and kissing him there and then. I bite my lip, wishing I could just accept his little baby girl, so I could be happy again. Right now, I am the only one standing between me and my happiness and I know that. But for some reason I cannot change that yet. He is still close to me and the passion in his whispering voice sends shivers down my spine._

"_And I miss you every minute… I miss you every day…"_

_While those words echo in my head his lips are almost roughly on mine. His hands are locked around my neck and there is nowhere for me to go. Not that I would want to go anywhere else anyway. The moment his lips touch mine it feels like home, it feels like the world is turning again, and just for a little while I forget all about the whole situation. My hands grab his hips and I stand up so I can walk him backwards while returning the kiss with all the passion I feel boiling inside of me. My hands seem unable to decide where to go as they move from his hips to his neck and back to his waist. He pulls my apron away and whispers:_

"_Can we… can we go back to your place, please?"_

_And that is when reality hits me, when I suddenly remember everything, and I need all my strength to pull back from him. His arms try to pull me back against him, and while I lean back I say brokenly:_

"_I want to be alone with you so bad right now… more than anything"_

"_OK, OK…"_

"_More than anything…"_

_I push his arms away from me and try to get him to listen to me. _

"_Will… Will…but it is not going to fix our problems"_

_The moment his eyes look into mine I can see the defeat painted on his face. He seems to deflate like a balloon and the brokenness is almost touchable. I just keep talking:_

"_It is not going to make anything better. It is going to be just sex, and it has never been just sex with us."_

_He is so close to me. His eyes holding mine for a while and then dropping their gaze to my lips. The defeat slowly changes into determination again and I let him lock his hands around my neck. His eyes find mine again and with an aching heart I listen to him._

"_You are so incredible… you are the best thing that could have ever happened to me… and I am sorry… I'm such an idiot."_

_He sighs and seems to have to forcefully break himself away from me. And while he walks away I shiver from the sudden coldness that hits my body as the warmth of his touch slowly fades away. _

While I lean against Sonny's chest his hands go through my hair. Although it is usually the other way around I do enjoy the way his fingers touch me. I whisper softly:

"Although I hated to have to walk away from you, for the first time again I was sure you still loved me…"

He kisses my temple.

"I definitely did, and although I hated to see you walk away it was the first time I felt there was still hope for us."

"Sonny?"

"Hmmm…"

"I want to go to bed."

"Yeah… memories make you tired, don't they…"

I stand up and take his wine glass so I can put both glasses on the table. I reach out so I can help him up and while I pull him to our bedroom I laugh:

"Not just tired, baby…"

And after I push him onto our bed and position myself on top of him he starts to laugh softly:

"See, I was right… always one thing on your mind, Horton…"

I kiss him, deeply and passionately, and then I whisper in his ear:

"At the café, after our basketball game, I was able to just put you in my car, drive you home and you know…"

I wiggle my eyebrows and continue:

"That night when I saw you with Brian I was planning on finding you, making up to you and taking you home… and I had the same plan when I came to find you at the coffee house after the sonogram."

When I kiss him again I feel how soft and willing his lips are against mine and just before I start taking our clothes off I whisper against his lips:

"So tonight I am going to make up for lost time…"

**Thanks for reading and commenting. As always it means a lot! If you have a particular scene you would like to be used please let me know and I might write a third chapter! I look forward to your comments!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Ari?"

I am in the middle of unpacking boxes, and have suddenly lost my daughter who was playing just a few feet away from me. I look around and find her in the hallway, Snuffy tightly squeezed between her little fingers. Her big blue eyes look up at me and I pick her up from the floor:

"Were you checking out your new home, little girl?"

She smiles happily and her little arm curves around my neck. I walk us back to the living room and put her down on her playing blanket. While I continue unpacking my phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. Without checking the screen I say:

"Hello."

"Hi…"

"Oh it's you… when are you coming home?"

"Soon, how is the unpacking going?"

I look around and sigh slightly:

"Son, we have too much stuff, this is going to take forever… at least."

He laughs and I immediately feel better.

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes to help you."

We hang up and I decide to take a break until Sonny is here, so I get comfortable next to my daughter and we play together. The moment we hear Sonny's car pulling up the driveway, she has forgotten all about the toys around her. She intently looks at the door and when it opens and Sonny walks in, she reaches out immediately:

"Dada… dada."

He smiles tenderly and picks her up from the floor, kissing her cheek, while saying:

"Do you like the new home, sweet pea?"

I stand up and he leans in to kiss me firmly on my lips, while Ari is squeezed in between us. I smile at him and say:

"Glad you're home."

We decide to get Ari into bed first, enjoy the sushi Sonny brought home, and then we will get started with the unpacking. The whole Ari-going-to-bed ritual takes us about half an hour, but we enjoy her happy laughs and the way she keeps mumbling 'dada'. And as always we end the ritual by leaning over at the same time to each kiss one of her cheeks. After we had some sushi Sonny points to the boxes:

"I think we have no choice but to get started."

I sigh dramatically and push my face against his shoulder:

"I don't want to."

He kisses my neck and pulls away so he can actually get some work done. I decide to follow his lead and soon we are busy unpacking the boxes, and filling our house to create a home. I find a tin box and turn around while holding it up for Sonny to see. The moment his eyes find the little blue box he smiles and walks towards me. His strong arms wrap around my waist and soon his lips are on mine. When he lets go he says:

"My lucky tin…"

When I look into his perfect brown eyes I remember the New Year's Eve where everything fell into place.

_We're making out on his bed and I have never felt so happy, so at home. I am leaning half over him and enjoy the way he cups my face while I kiss him. My eyes suddenly see a little blue tin on his night stand and I don't remember seeing that before. I pull back slightly and frown:_

"_That's new…"_

"_What…"_

_He lets go of me and turns around to follow the nod of my head towards the tin. _

"_What is this… what is that… what is that?"_

"_Oh that is nothing… it's dumb…"_

_He rolls back to face me and tries to pull me back into our kiss. Although I really enjoy his enthusiasm I don't give in. I give him two quick kisses while asking:_

"_What? It's dumb? What is it… what is it?"_

_We both smile and he knows I am not giving up. He sighs while grabbing the tin from his night stand and I lean back in the pillows while my hand affectionately goes through his hair. _

"_Ever since I was a kid I put a resolution… or fifty… in this tin on a scrap piece of paper. And at the end of the year I like to check it and see how I did…"_

_I can see the shyness in his eyes, and I cannot help but fall even more in love with this gorgeous, sweet man lying next to me. Never before have I felt such a deep need to know everything about a person, but right now I vow to myself I will make sure that I will learn everything about Sonny Kiriakis. I want to know him inside out. And I need to know what is in that tin._

"_Really… how did you do this year…"_

"_I… I did OK…"_

_His sweet smile is a mixture of shyness, cuteness, and embarrassment, and for some reason I find this a major turn on. He is always strong and confident, but this little tin must hold something that he is insecure about. I smile widely when I ask:_

"_Can I see?"_

_The way he refuses and pulls away makes me reach out quickly to grab it out of his hands. Although he is still reluctant he doesn't ask for it back. I open it and find just one little piece of paper. He shuffles a bit so he is a little bit closer to me, while I open it and read out loud:_

"_2012, get Will Horton to fall in love with me…"_

_I did not expect this. I was prepared to read something about starting a business, about being an entrepreneur. But not something that included me. I try to hide my emotions by asking with a smile:_

"_Did you just write this like five minutes ago?"_

_He smiles, but shakes his head. His eyes show me how vulnerable he feels right now, they almost seem to beg for me to understand, to not make fun of him. _

"_No I wrote it last year…"_

_These six simple words carry so much meaning. My brain is going a million miles per hour and I realise he wrote this while I was still not able to be honest with myself and the world. And this whole year I have been busy with myself, with coming out, with my family, with being confident, and all this time he had this little piece of paper in his resolution tin. How could I have been so blind this whole year, why did I take forever to come out? I need to make sure though:_

"_Are you serious?"_

_The pure honesty in his eyes lands straight into my heart, and his confirmation makes me feel invincible:_

"_It's what I wanted all year…"_

_All year… It's what he wanted all year. This man with the kindest heart, the brightest smile, and the most perfect face has waited for me all year. I am drowning in his deep dark chocolate eyes and I just don't know what to say. I just look at him and decide that there is only one way to let him know how I feel. I reach up and hide my hand in his hair. I lean in and while my other hand cups his face, I kiss him on his lips. A firm kiss, a kiss that leads to dancing tongues, breathlessness, and swollen lips. A kiss that is the beginning of a whole future, and an answer to the most honest declaration of love I could ever have hoped for. He lets me hold him this way and he willingly leans in to answer my intense kiss. I know he needs me to make love to him now. He spilled his soul, told me one of his deepest secrets. I lean over him and push him back on the bed. His words empower me, they make me feel like his hero. Without hesitation I take control and only when he is entirely satisfied and all relaxed and sleepy in my arms, I know what to whisper in his ear:_

"_I found him…"_

"_Who…"_

"_The one whom I love, and who loves me back… a good friend of mine once told me that still happens…"_

_He shuffles closer to me and I feel him smile against my skin:_

"_Wise friend…"_

_I softly kiss his temple and whisper with a voice heavy on emotions:_

"_And so, so much more than that."_

His eyes tell me he is thinking about that night too. They hold mine when he says:

"So where is that going to go?"

I look at the little fire place and the wooden shelve just above it. I quickly place the tin in the middle of the shelf and he nods:

"I like that."

We continue our unpacking and I enjoy the happy silence between us, and the little touches when we walk past each other. Suddenly he asks:

"Where is the music player?"

I gesture to the kitchen and he rushes to get it into the living room. I frown:

"What got into you so suddenly…"

"You'll see."

I shake my head and just mumble:

"Don't wake up Ari."

When the first cords of a song fill our new living room he turns around, smiles, and holds out his hand to me. I smile back, biting my bottom lip, while I grab his hand and let him pull me close to him. We move slowly to the rhythm and I sigh a deep and happy sigh. I let him lead me while we sway around the half unpacked boxes. When the song is done, way too soon if you ask me, I pull back and ask:

"How did you get that?"

He smiles his I-am-so-proud-of-myself-smile:

"I asked JJ to record it… I just really wanted a copy."

"Yeah… that was a nice wedding dance, wasn't it?"

He shakes his head and squeezes my wrists:

"Not just nice, Will. It was perfect."

"Yeah?"

I don't know why I ask that, but for some reason I need him to tell me that our wedding dance means as much to him as it does to me. He pushes me backwards until I feel the door to the hallway. His body presses mine against the door and his hands find their place on either side of my head. He is surrounding me completely, and I am a happy captive. He kisses me slowly, letting his lips linger against mine while I feel his breath on my skin. His answer is certain and makes my heart skip a beat:

"Oh yeah."

One more kiss and he sighs:

"We really have to do some unpacking…"

He breaks away from me and return my attention to one of the boxes. After only a few moments I hear him say:

"Will…"

I turn around and raise my eyebrows. He is holding a red paper heart in his hands and asks:

"Why is this here?"

I just shrug and try to pretend I don't know where that comes from. But he walks towards me and grabs my arm:

"You are blushing… why is this paper heart in one of our boxes when this should be in the Valentine's decoration box at the club?"

I bite my bottom lip, trying to avoid his eyes.

"I'm sure the club will be fine without this one…"

He laughs softly and shakes his head:

"Not the point babe…"

I take the heart from his hands:

"OK, mister-I-want-to-know-everything… I'll tell you."

"I am all ears…"

I smile and finally look into the sweet soft brown of his eyes. After a deep sigh I start:

"You were holding this when I came to see you."

He smiles knowingly and I continue:

"I thought you wanted to get back together, so I went to see you, and you were decorating the coffee house with this stuff… and then we didn't get back together and Brian came to pick you up and I thought I had lost everything…"

"I'm so sorry baby…"

I shake my head:

"No, don't worry about it… you came to the hospital… luckily everything was OK with Gabi… and then…"

I stop mid-sentence and just look at him. He finishes it for me:

"And then I brought you to the coffee house…"

I just nod and start nibbling on my lip again. My fingers trace the sides of the heart and I whisper:

"When I saw you holding my card I was so embarrassed."

He takes the heart from me and lays it on the floor. His hands then come up to cup my face and he says softly:

"I still have that card… it is in one of these boxes…"

We both laugh after he pulled my lip free from between my teeth.

"That card was perfect, Will."

"I was just scared you would laugh at me… I thought you were with Brian, you know."

While I say that he wraps me up in another hug. Even though we are supposed to be unpacking, we are not making much progress tonight. And right now we have forgotten all about the stuff around us. All I see is his deep brown eyes, and all I hear is the question he asked me.

"_Do you still feel this way?...Do you wish that we could start over?"_

_I nod, almost invisibly. I try to look at him, but for just a moment I have to look away. He always told me my eyes are mirrors into my soul. And right now I feel naked in front of him because I know he can see straight through me. So I look away for just a second, when I realise that this is it. He knows how I feel, he knows I love him and I want to be with him. So this is it, the moment where we either get back together, or where we break up. My heart is pounding, and I suddenly realise how close he is to me. The dark shirt looks amazing on him, and his hair is inviting me to let my fingers go through it. When he starts talking it feels as though my broken heart is put back together again:_

"_Then I am glad that I sent you this Valentine 's Day present."_

_My body seems to come alive the moment he moves in to kiss me. My hands come up almost immediately to claim their place in his hair. His kiss is firm and perfect. Almost immediately his tongue finds its way to mine and I can barely breathe from the passion in his kiss. When we have to break apart to breathe, I hug him close. My arms hooked over his shoulder, his face in the crook of my neck. I feel his heart beat against my chest and I whisper shakily:_

"_Sonny…"_

_He clings to me as if he is never going to let me go again. He whispers back, just as emotional as I am:_

"_I love you, Will, I never stopped loving you…"_

_I squeeze him even closer against me. _

"_Sonny… is this… are we…"_

_I can't finish my sentence, still afraid this is not what I hope it is. Afraid that he will say that this is the perfect goodbye or something. But his answer tells me what I want to hear._

"_You belong with me, Will… and I belong with you…"_

_I sigh deeply, trying to blink away the tears in my eyes. He is still talking though, having his voice muffled slightly against my shoulder:_

"_You are mine… all of you… including your baby girl… let me help you, honey… let me take care of both of you…"_

_I lean back and our eyes meet. I see in his eyes that he needs me to answer him and I can no longer fight the tears. While they find a way down my cheeks I ask:_

"_Are you serious?"_

_He presses a kiss against my swollen lips and breaths:_

"_Please…"_

_I don't know if I deserve him. But I do know that I need him. These past weeks have been hell, and right now I feel whole and happy again. I lock my hands around his neck and look straight into his eyes:_

"_I love you so much, Sonny… I need you… I need you so much, you don't even know… and my baby girl is the luckiest girl in the world to have you taking care of her…"_

_I have to kiss him again, but when I feel the wetness on his cheeks I pull back. With my thumbs I softly stroke away his tears and I shake my head:_

"_No more tears… just happy…"_

_He smiles. And immediately I feel strength flowing through me. I always knew he had a pretty smile, but right now I realise his smile is my own personal sun. His hands squeeze my hips and he whispers huskily:_

"_Can I take you home?"_

_My body responds immediately and while I grab his hand and pull him towards the door I answer:_

"_My apartment is closer…"_

He sighs when I stop talking:

"That's a good memory…"

I nod:

"I didn't even get to best part yet."

His eyes sparkle and his smile is as bright as a summer's day. But then he gets serious when he remembers:

"That night… making love to you..."

My mind goes back to the intense night we had, tender and passionate, both wanting to tell the other with and without words how much we missed and loved each other.

While I lean in for a kiss I breathe just one word:

"Perfect."

While staring into my eyes he mumbles:

"Let's do all this tomorrow…"

I have to tease him:

"I thought you were the determined one and wanted to get all this unpacked tonight…"

He shrugs, moving his staring eyes to my lips:

"I changed my mind…"

He pushes me towards the hallway, up the stairs, and I just follow his lead. And when we fall on our bed and he finds his place on top of me we whisper at the same time:

"Perfect is the word…"

**Hope you all enjoy this third chapter. Thank you for leaving your comments, I love reading them!**


	4. Chapter 4

**As requested, Sonny's POV on the whole breaking up period. I hope it meets expectation!**

**Sonny's POV**

The alarm clock tells me it is only 3.00 am. Will is sleeping next to me, completely relaxed after we made love for hours. I listen to his even breathing and wonder why I cannot sleep yet. He mumbles in his sleep and I smile when I recognize a soft 'I love you Sonny'. But after lying awake for a while now, I decide to go downstairs. First, I peek in on Ari to find her as sound asleep as her daddy. Then I go downstairs where I get something to drink before I sit myself down in between a few unpacked boxes. The red heart is lying on the floor, just as we left it when we decided to leave the unpacking for a later time. While my hand goes into one of the boxes I tell myself that as I cannot sleep I might as well do some work. For about 30 minutes I work without a break, and then I pull the fifth box towards me. When I open it I smile. I wish Will was here so I could show him the card. I told him yesterday it was in one of these boxes, and here it is. I hold it while I sit down with my back against the wall. I am still happy that yesterday Will and I spoke about that time when we were apart. He told me his side of the story yesterday, about how he felt when he saw me holding this card, when I asked him what he wanted, and when I kissed him and ending up at his place. I take a deep breath and for the first time since months I allow myself to think about the time we broke up, how I tried to move on even though my heart was shattered into a million pieces.

_Suddenly everything moves in slow motion. His eyes are bigger than they have ever been, and they seem too large for his face. Even though there are many people in this church it feels as though it is just me and him. His eyes are saying a million things his mouth can't. I feel numb. I try to move, although I am not sure where to. I reach for my coat, suddenly feeling out of place, needing fresh air to make sure I won't collapse. I know people are looking at me but I don't care. I turn around but before I can leave I feel how his body crashes into mine just before he pulls me back and pushes me into a corner of the church. _

"_Sonny… I am sorry that I lied to you."_

_His hands grab my arms to hold me in place. _

"_Somehow I thought… it doesn't matter what I thought…but I love you"_

_His hands have moved from my arms to my chest, pulling my coat to underline his words. I lean back, feeling angry and hurt by the man I have loved for so long now. He lied to me. There is nothing I hate more than lying. I thought we had an honest relationship and here I find myself being in the dark about the fact that he is going to be a father. Even though he is inches away from me, trying to pull me close to him, I feel like we are miles apart. _

"_And I don't want this to change anything between us…and it doesn't have to change anything between us…"_

_His eyes are begging and his voice is breaking. Usually that is enough for me to pull him close and say that everything is going to be OK. But not this time. I don't even recognise my own voice when I bite back:_

"_On what planet… this changes everything…"_

_I push him away forcefully and run out of the church, away from my worst nightmare. He is not following me and I decide to go to the coffee house. Working is the way I deal with everything, so soon I am tying my apron around my waste trying to silence the voices in my head. It is a while later when I hear the door close and when I turn around I see my uncle Victor walking towards the bar. _

"_What…"_

_I know it must sound disrespectful, but I know he is going to say something about the one topic I don't want to think about._

"_My usual please…"_

_I turn around to make his coffee and listen to him trying to start the conversation about what happened at the church. After I put the coffee in front of him I try to go back to work, but he grabs my arms and points at his coffee:_

"_I speak four languages and in none of them does grande mean medium."_

_I sigh:_

"_You drink it for free, don't complain…"_

_I have no energy in me, no life. _

"_You know, maybe it is just as well you found out about Will now… before…"_

"_Before what…"_

_Something inside of me snaps. _

"_Before I fell in love with him? Before we moved in together? Before I started picturing the rest of my life with him? Before that…?_

_My eyes must be firing daggers at him even though he is not the person I am angry with. But my Kiriakis blood is boiling and someone has to take the heat. _

"_Preferably… yes…"_

"_Well… it is too late."_

_The moment those words leave my lips I realise this is it. Will and I have broken up and I am left with a broken heart. I gave him everything I have, and when he said the baby is his he broke me. After my uncle's visit, Chad wants to apologise and I only partly accept. Then suddenly Will is standing before me. He looks just as hurt and tired as I feel, but I try to hide it by spreading my hands out on the counter, making sure the counter remains between us as a physical barrier. _

"_What…"_

"_I just want a chance to explain things…"_

"_Things…? You mean your lies? Is that what you want to do? And how exactly are you going to do that, Will? With more lies?"_

_I know my words are hurting him, as he seems to shrink in front of me. I walk away, no longer able to look at him as it hurts too much. He doesn't give up yet though:_

"_I think that if you really listen to me, I can explain and you can understand…"_

_When I turn around I see dr Evans walk in, and I know that my words will hurt him. But I say them nonetheless, trying to cover up my own pain with anger:_

"_You know what? Why don't you talk to someone who can actually help you?"_

_The defeat in his eyes tells me that I did hurt him, and I hate myself for it. I turn around I hide in my office for a while. Unable to cry, unable to do anything as I just sit in my chair and stare at the papers on my desk. This morning I asked him to move in with me and my world seemed to perfect. I was so happy when he didn't even try to hide his enthusiasm about living together. And now here we are, unable to speak to each other without feeling hurt. I take a deep breath and decide that I should go back to work. I try to ignore Will and his grandmother at the table next to the bar. But when dr. Evans stands up and leaves I have to look at him for a second. He is crying and my heart breaks a little bit more. I love him, I still love him. And when he cries it breaks my heart, it always has. The moment he stands up I know he is coming towards me. I can almost feel the warmth from his body as he is standing behind me and I reluctantly turn around. I tell myself to look at him, but am unable to meet his eyes with mine. He tells me that he will collect his stuff later tonight and it feels as though he is standing on my heart once again as I realise we are not moving in together. For a second I expect him to turn around and walk away but suddenly he leans towards me as he says:_

"_One more thing though…"_

_His voice gives way when he whispers:_

"_Could you just look at me for a second?"_

_I take a deep breath, telling myself not to fall apart in front of him. I force myself to look at him and listen:_

"_I don't know how this is going to play out… but I don't wanna lose you over this…"_

_I don't want to lose him either, but how can I not if he lies to me. And now he is going to be a father and I am not nearly there yet. Our lives are miles apart so how can we not lose each other over this? _

"_You don't have to say anything… I just want you to know, despite everything that's happened… I love you…"_

_I look away and bite my lip, knowing that I am this close to crying. Never in my life have I felt this hurt. I have loved him since the day I shook his hand, and finally we were together. But everything I heard today prevents me from saying anything until he walks away. And only after I have swallowed a few times I am able to whisper:_

"_I love you too Will…"_

I am crying thinking about that day. I felt horrible and I though my world had fallen apart. My eyes find the text on the card in my hands and I sigh deeply, knowing that everything is OK now. I remember how the days seemed to take forever then, how everything seemed meaningless. I tried to fool myself by telling myself that I did not need him, that I was moving on. Even though I never loved Brian I really tried to like him. But the moment he wanted to make love to me I realised I can only make love to one man. I wipe the wetness from my cheeks and smile when I think about last night. About the passion I felt when I touched his naked skin. About the way my body responds to his touch, the way I lose control when we are so close. I hear a soft cry and realise Ari is awake. She stops the moment I pick her up from her crib and she smiles a toothless smile when I cradle her in my arms. I take her downstairs and whisper:

"I was thinking about your daddy, baby girl…."

Her familiar blue eyes stare at me and I remember how she had all of us worried when she seemed to want to come onto this earth a few weeks too soon.

_I rush out of the coffee house, running to my car, and driving to the hospital way too fast. But I just feel that I have to be there, I feel that he needs me to be there with him. The moment I walk out of the elevator my eyes meet his. His face is swollen from tears, but the way he seems to breathe out when he sees me makes me feel like I am his hero. When he walks up to me I am not sure how to greet him, but he soon pulls me in a tight hug. When my arms lock around him I have to tell myself that we are just friends, as my body seems way to comfortable in his arms. When he pulls back I reluctantly let him go. I ask if he really wants me here and his confirmation makes my heart sing. _

"_I cannot imagine how hard this is on you"_

_Those words are all he needs to open up to me. Just like so many times before he talks and I listen. Even though technically we are just friends this conversation feels intimate and close. And I tease him about his ice skating skills just so I can see a small smile on his face. I try to be there for him, telling him that the doctors are doing their best and that they know what they are doing. And when they finally tell us Gabi and the baby are going to be alright he falls into my arms without hesitation. It feels as though we both have forgotten that we are supposed to be broken up, as everything we do feels as it did before all this happened. He still looks tired and when I find him pouring a cup of coffee I ask:_

"_How are you doing?"_

"_I am fine… I am just fine…"_

"_Why don't you go home and get some sleep…"_

"_No, there is no way I could sleep right now…"_

"_Yeah, but you heard the doctors, Gabi is sleeping, she is fine and they are not gonna let anyone else visit…"_

"_Yeah, still don't wanna try to sleep though…"_

_He looks so tired and I realise that I still find that incredibly cute. And suddenly I hear myself speak again:_

"_OK… plan B… I heard there is this place that serves halfway decent coffee… you wanna head over there?"_

_The moment I ask the question I realise I am nervous for his answer. I really want him to say yes but what if he refuses? _

"_Yeah… plan B sounds actually really great actually…"_

_We both smile and I feel like I can breathe again. And while we find our way to my coffee house everything feels like it used to feel, and when my fingers brush his leg when I shift gears while driving, I feel a little spark of hope lighting up my heart._

Arianna fell asleep in my arms and I look down on her sweet little face. Who would have thought I would be a happy father this early in life. She snuggles closer to my chest and I feel the fatherly pride poor through my veins. She is mine, she is all mine and I could not be happier. I put her back into her bed and make sure she is warm and safe before I head back to bed. The card, that I am still holding, finds its place on my night stand. The moon in lighting up the room and while I make myself comfortable I look at Will's profile next to me. He is lying on his side, facing me, and I reach out just so I can softly stroke his cheek. He wakes up and blinks sleepily.

"Sorry babe, I didn't mean to wake you…"

"Hmmmm…."

"Go back to sleep."

This time he is the one snuggling against my chest and I am surprised to hear him ask:

"Where did you go before…"

"What?"

"I woke up around 4.30 and you were gone…"

I curve my arms around him, smiling happily when I realise he is still naked.

"I couldn't sleep…"

"Why not."

I shrug, hoping he will let it go. But of course he doesn't so I explain carefully that all the memories we talked about these past days got me thinking about the time we broke up. I tell him softly I about the card I found in his bag and when I whisper how much that card means to me he gives me a soft kiss on my chest.

"Breaking up sucked…."

I laugh softly while my fingers make a mess of his hair.

"It sure did…"

It is quiet for a while and just when I think he is asleep again I hear him say:

"When we broke up, I was so unhappy… and look where we are now…"

I nod and whisper an I-love-you in his hair.

"Sonny?"

"Yeah?"

"Sometimes I think everything is too good to be true and that things are going to go horribly wrong."

"Hey now, why would that be?"

"I don't know… I think in my life whenever things looked great it always somehow went wrong…"

I look down to see the man I love curled up against me, while my arms are safely wrapped around him. As so many times before I realise our childhoods were very different and I wish I could take all his bad memories away. I stroke his back and his arm:

"Nothing bad is going to happen baby… and no matter what will come our way, we can deal with it together."

He doesn't answer me. Instead he moves up until he is lying next to me on his side, with his head cupped in his hand. He leans forward to catch my lips to seal my words with a deep intense kiss. When I open my eyes I immediately look straight into his. His other hand comes up to go through my hair and then he says:

"You know that little room…."

I hold my breath.

"We should give that some thought…"

"We should?"

His eyes are all soft and sweet when he whispers:

"I love you so much… a little you is the only thing that is missing in my life."

I swallow when I hear him talk about a little me. He sees my emotions and continues:

"I can just imagine a little baby boy or girl playing with Ari, you know… Ari has my eyes and Gabi's hair… but little you will hopefully have chocolate brown eyes and black hair… and a smile that is brighter than the sun… You know… I can already see them arguing about who can lick the bowl when you are making brownies."

I smile, easily picturing his story. He is not done yet though:

"I can't wait to come home from work and find you all stressed out, hair sticking out into all directions, telling me to look after the kids for a while because you need a shower to calm down…"

He leans in and kisses me again. The slow lingering kiss takes my breath away, but then I whisper:

"Or to come home after a late shift to find you on the couch napping with Ari and little me in your arms… Or us having breakfast on Christmas morning when the kids are opening their presents and I try to sneak a few kisses behind the tree."

We both laugh and I catch his hand that is drawing patterns on my chest. I look up when he calls my name again:

"Sonny… we shouldn't wait too long…"

I shake my head, unable to speak as I realise he is very serious. And for the first time in our relationship I am the one who asks him:

"Is this really what you want?"

The way he looks at me is an answer in itself. But the words he speaks make me wrap him up in my arms so I can pull him close to me to show him how much I love him:

"You are everything to me Sonny… everything…" 

**Thank you all for reading again. Please leave a comment and if you have any requests do not hesitate to let me know!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The last chapters were a bit sad, so here some compensation. I did the then vs now so far, but in this chapter the italic text is not the past but the future. I am forwarding this story a bit to the time where a birth mother is carrying Sonny's baby. **

**Will's POV**

I look at the blank page in front of me. I should be writing, empty pages don't sell, but I find myself staring out of the window. I have always been a dreamer. When I was younger and my parents would be arguing downstairs I would sit down on my bed and make up stories for Snuffy, and when I grew older made up stories for my little brother and sisters. And now, years later, I am still making up stories, although now they seem more within my reach than when I was a little boy. I decide to just write down my day dreams. I can't focus on anything else anyway, so I might just as well just write some happy made up stories, daydreams of a perfect future that seems within my grasp.

(…1…)

"_Will, wake up…"_

"_Hmm…"_

_Instead of opening my eyes I squeeze them shut while pushing my face against his chest. _

"_Will, it is six o'clock, wake up."_

"_I don't want to, Sonny."_

"_Who's idea was this again?"_

_He pushes my face up from his chest and forces me to look at him. His eyebrows are raised and his lips are curled in to smile. I shrug my shoulders and try to ignore that question, but he is quick to remind me:_

"_You wanted to get out of bed early, Will. You wanted us to make breakfast, so that when the kids get out of bed they can have a perfect Christmas breakfast with presents…"_

_I look at him and sigh my defeat:_

"_It sounded like a good idea."_

_He laughs and pushes me aside so he can get up:_

"_It still is a good idea. You just have to stop whining."_

_I make a face at him and pull the duvet over my head. I curl up and make myself as comfortable as I can without Sonny next to me. But it doesn't take long until Sonny pulls the duvet away. His hands grab my wrists and moments later I am standing next to him._

"_You are cruel, Sonny…"_

_He kisses my cheek and smiles:_

"_And you are cute… now get dressed."_

_And just before he leaves the bedroom he turns around to say:_

"_And be quiet when you come downstairs, don't wake up the kids."_

_While he closes the door behind him I shake my head and mumble:_

"_Bossy…"_

_The door opens again and he sticks his head around it:_

"_You need it, babe..."_

_I blow him a kiss and promise I will be right there, and about fifteen minutes later I walk into the kitchen that is already filled with pancake smell. Sonny is making all out favourites and I start setting the table. The Christmas tree in the corner of the kitchen sets the tone and I sigh happily. Sonny looks up and smiles:_

"_That was a deep sigh?"_

_I walk towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist while he starts making yet another pancake. He leans back into my arms and I softly kiss his neck. I don't have to explain my happy sigh to him as I know he already understands. He makes a few pancakes while wrapped up in my arms and then we hear little voices upstairs. _

"_Goodbye peace…"_

_I mumble the words against his skin and he just laughs. Moments later they walk into the kitchen and we smile:_

"_Merry Christmas."_

_Ari makes a face when she sees us standing there together, but is soon distracted by her brother's voice:_

"_Presents… can we open one, please."_

_I turn around and feel my heart swell up with happiness when I look straight into two familiar brown eyes. His dark hair is sticking into all directions while he is jumping up and down in his pyjamas. _

"_You can both pick one present and put it next to your plate. Daddy is almost finished with the pancakes and then we can have breakfast."_

_I don't have to say that twice and soon two little presents are awaiting on the table. Sonny puts the pancakes in the middle and we all sit down. _

"_Can I open it, please?"_

_He is looking at me and we all know I am not very good at resisting brown eyes. And of course Ari is flashing her blue ones at Sonny, knowing that is usually successful too. I cannot believe how quickly kids know how to get their way. I look at Sonny and he is already nodding:_

"_Go ahead…"_

_The room soon fills with happy shouts and little arms wrap around my neck. _

"_Thank you daddy, thank you daddy…"_

_They have forgotten all about breakfast and play with their new toys on the kitchen floor. I look across the table and find his twinkling eyes:_

"_What was your plan again? Open presents and then have a lovely Christmas breakfast together?"_

_I smile and stand up to walk around the table and sit down next to him:_

"_The plan was good, the execution on the other hand…"_

_He lets me pull his head against my shoulder. I kiss his temple and say softly with my lips against his skin:_

"_I think this is perfect though…"_

_His deep brown eyes look up at me and I just have to kiss him. When I let go of his lips I gesture towards the pancakes:_

"_I'm hungry…"_

_He sits up and puts a pancake on my plate:_

"_What would you do without my cooking?"_

_I just smile and stare at him until he shuffles uncomfortably:_

"_What Will.…"_

"_I never want to find out…"_

(…2…)

_The moment Justin walks into the living room I know he has something on his mind. It is late in the afternoon and Sonny is still working. Ari is in her room and I am about to make dinner. He just hangs around, not saying anything but every now and then he looks at me. Finally I smile and pat on the couch next to me:_

"_Come here…"_

_He sits down next to me and I just wait for him to start talking. He is chewing his bottom lip just like his father does, until he opens up to me:_

"_We got an assignment today…"_

_I nod and look at his worried face from aside. His eyes meet mine quickly and then he stares at the table again:_

"_I have to make a family tree…"_

_I immediately see the problem. Two years ago Ari had to do this and I remember how she was just as worried as Justin is now. He glances at me again before he says:_

"_What should I do?"_

_I shrug and return his question:_

"_What would you like to do?"_

_It is quiet for a while and then he whispers insecurely:_

"_I want to do it just the way it is… you know… a Kiriakis side and a…"_

_He doesn't finish his sentence and instead he just looks at me with his big brown eyes. I smile:_

"_Your sister had the same question a few years ago, you know that?"_

_He shakes his head and asks:_

"_What did she do…?"_

_I stand up to get something out of one of the drawers. When I sit back down I open the paper and his eyes quickly read it:_

"_My family tree, Horton, Hernandez, and Kiriakis…"_

_I nod:_

"_She decided to use all three families because that is how she feels."_

_His fingers glide over the paper and then he says:_

"_OK."_

"_OK what."_

_He smiles at me as always I am struck by how much he looks like Sonny:_

"_I'll do what I feel… isn't that what you are trying to tell me?"_

_I nod._

"_So I'll do a Kiriakis side and a Horton side… because that is how I feel."_

_I swallow, even though we have been a happy family for quite a while now, these little confirmations still move me. He must have seen it because the way he looks at me is just like Sonny can look at me when he is not sure whether I am OK. So I smile to tell him I am perfectly fine and then he leans in and asks:_

"_Can I have some of dad's brownies… to ty me over until dinner…"_

_I try to be a good dad and say no, but before I can do so he continues:_

"_You can have one too… we both know how much you love dad's brownies…"_

"_You don't play fair…"_

_He shrugs and soon we are munching away from Sonny's brownies. We must have missed the sound of his car because suddenly we hear his voice:_

"_Just before dinner… great parenting Will…"_

_When we turn around a big smile paints his face and he leans in to kiss me hello. And when he pulls back we see Justin grab a big piece before he walks towards the stairs:_

"_I'll get started on my homework…"_

_The door closes behind him and Sonny's sits down next to me. He closes the tin and shakes his head:_

"_You always give in to him…"_

_I glance at him and raise my eyebrows:_

"_Oh, you are no better and you know it…"_

"_I would not have given him brownies half an hour before dinner."_

_I shake my head in protest and push him away when he tries to kiss my cheek:_

"_No babe, no kissing when you are lying to me."_

_He laughs and then gives in:_

"_OK, I'm just as bad…"_

_I except his capitulation and lean in to kiss him softly on his lips:_

"_I'll make dinner."_

_While I stand up I see him opening the tin and grabbing two brownies. When our eyes meet I raise my eyebrows and he just shrugs:_

"_We have to even it out… so I am going to eat some brownies with our daughter…"_

_He gives me the tin and a quick peck on my lips. I shake my head, but smile happily:_

"_Following my bad example, great parenting skills babe…"_

_He laughs and turns around just before he closes the door:_

"_I love you…"_

_Ad I can't help it. Even though we have been together for years that is all I need to blush and feel butterflies in my stomach. And even though the door is already closed I whisper back:_

"_I love you too."_

Sonny is taking a break from his gardening and instead is playing with our daughter in the grass. She is laughing as only little kids can do and I can't help but smile. I decide to get all of us something to drink and moments later I walk into the sunshine to join my family. As soon as Sonny sees me he is smiling:

"Hey, how is the writing going…"

I sit down next to him and hand him a glass of juice:

"I'm not doing what I am supposed to do, but I am working…"

He looks slightly puzzled and then he ticks our glasses together:

"Cheers to whatever you are doing."

We laugh and I nod:

"Cheers to that."

We are quiet for a while and then I decide to bring it up:

"Sonny?"

"Yeah."

"Have you thought about names for the baby?"

He looks at me and a light red covers his cheeks. I know him well enough to know what that means:

"You already know the names don't you."

He is now really blushing and then says apologetically:

"If you don't like them I will forget about them."

I reach for his hand and squeeze it:

"So, what are they?"

He looks into my eyes really quickly and then he says:

"Justin if it is a boy, after my dad… and Abigail if it is a girl…"

I smile and reach out to lift up his chin:

"Perfect."

"You mean that? You're not just saying that to spare my feelings or something?"

I shake my head:

"I think those are perfect choices."

He leans forward and kisses me deeply, and before I know it he is pushing me down in the grass. But I reluctantly push him away and whisper:

"Ari…"

He sighs and I laugh softly:

"Get used to it babe, soon we have two sets of little eyes…"

He shakes his head and then he looks at me all soft and sweet while he promises:

"That's OK, I'll do some catching up tonight…"

I blush and he just smiles teasingly. I shake my head and squeeze his thigh to tell him I can't wait. His hand grabs mine and we sip our drinks for a while until he says:

"I'll do some more gardening."

"OK… I'll do some more writing…"

"Can I read it later on?"

I hesitate only a moment and then I nod:

"Sure."

Soon I am back at my desk and my fingers are flying across the keyboard again.

(…3…)

"_Dads…can we talk for a second"_

_We both look up from the dishwasher we are filling up to look at our son and daughter standing together. Sonny answers for the both of us:_

"_Sure…"_

_They look at each other and seem undecided who is going to do the speaking. We just wait until Sonny says:_

"_Well some of you has to say what we have to talk about…"_

_I smile while I quickly look at my husband and then I hear our daughter say:_

"_We don't want to spoil it…"_

"_Spoil what…"_

_They look at each other again and then Ari says:_

"_Your wedding anniversary…"_

_I put the plates down that I was still holding and ask:_

"_What about it?"_

_Justin sighs deeply and then he answers:_

"_We know you both hate surprises, especially you…"_

_His eyes flash my way and this time Sonny is the one smiling at me. Justin continues:_

"_Grandma Sami is planning a big party… and I mean a big party…"_

_He emphasises the word big in a way that scares me immediately. I know my mother well enough that this must mean she is inviting the world. Ari is taking over:_

"_We know you want to keep it simple, just us four… but I think grandma has other plans… and grandma Adrienne is helping as well, so…"_

_We all know that this does not sound good and we sit down at the kitchen table together. I look at my husband's face and I can tell by the little wrinkles that he is worried about this. I look around the table and then I say:_

"_I was really hoping to celebrate this together, just the four of us."_

_They all nod and Sonny finally says:_

"_So we need a plan, don't we…"_

_Ari sighs and then shakes her head:_

"_We have to get both of you at the club tomorrow night… everyone is going to kill us if we can't do it… I mean grandma Sami and grandma Adrienne, and then great grandma Kate asked us a few times if we were sure we can do this…"_

_I can't help but smile when I hear a slight worry in her voice:_

"_Well, let's look at it this way… I am glad you warned us so now I can practise my surprise face…"_

_Sonny starts laughing and fills the children in on how I once worried about having a surprise birthday party. Of course they all make fun of me until it is time for the kids to go to bed. We thank them again for filling us in and then it is just the two of us. Sonny gets up and returns with two glasses of wine:_

"_I was hoping to do this tomorrow night, but there seems to be a change of plans…"_

_I take the wine and sigh:_

"_I'm afraid so…"_

_He takes my hand and pulls me into the living room. We find a comfortable position on the couch where he is leaning with his head on my chest and I can enjoy making a mess of his hair. We softly talk about our wedding day, and I laugh tenderly when I remember his perfect speech. He looks up:_

"_What…"_

_I smile and blush when I ask:_

"_Am I still your anchor that doesn't weigh you down?"_

_He tilts his head to kiss me and then he whispers:_

"_Always baby…"_

"_See I told you this was bad timing…"_

_Surprised by Justin's voice we look up to find our two children in their pyjamas at the door. They are about to go back upstairs when Sonny says:_

"_It's OK… what is it?"_

_They walk towards us and hand us a little present:_

"_As we will be at that party tomorrow we thought we will give it to you now…."_

_The moment I start unwrapping it, Ari holds my hands and says:_

"_A while ago dad, you told us about how you two met and stuff… and you said that when daddy bought the house he was talking about a name plate next to the front door... so…"_

_She lets go of my hands and I unwrap a simple but perfect name plate with all our names on it. Sonny takes it from my hands and I wrap our daughter up in a hug:_

"_Thank you darling… that is perfect."_

_Sonny gives Justin a fatherly hug and then the kids say goodnight again. And just before Justin closes the door behind him we hear him say to Ari:_

"_I bet you that as soon as we are upstairs they are kissing again…"_

_We both smile when we hear Ari's voice:_

"_I know… sometimes they act like teenagers…"_

_But it is Justin's last response that has us laughing out loud:_

"_Married for so long and still all over each other."_

_I pull Sonny back against my chest and he sighs:_

"_He is right, you know…"_

_I go through his hair and smile knowlingly:_

"_Oh… I know babe…. I know."_

_He looks up and when his eyes meet mine I hear him say:_

"_I did promise you a name plate that night when I told you about the house…and all these years I never gave you one."_

"_That's OK… you gave me everything I needed."_

"_Have I?"_

_I frown, surprised by his question:_

"_Yes honey… absolutely everything…"_

_He sighs deeply and then he whispers with a smile in his voice:_

"_Married for so long and still all over each other…"_

_I lean in and just before I kiss him I whisper:_

"_Since our kids are upstairs again… let me kiss you…"_

I hear the door open and Sonny walks in.

"Ari is asleep… did you finish your writing?"

I smile and gesture at the papers in front of me. He grabs it and smiles:

"Great."

I kiss his temple and tell him I will take a shower while he reads my stories. When I come back with my hair dripping and just a towel around my waist, I find him holding the papers while wiping a tear that is rolling down his cheek. He brown eyes look up at me and he whispers:

"What is this?"

I kneel in front of him and shrug:

"I am a dreamer and today I decided to write some of those dreams down… One day… you know… one day they might come true…"

He puts the papers next to him and then cups my face. His dark eyes hold the promise he softly whispers against my lips:

"Don't worry… I'll make sure of it…"

**A slightly different approach, hope you like it… let me know. Thanks to everyone reading. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Baby boy Justin is part of their little family. Just a few scenes about their little family.**

**Sonny's POV**

My eyes are heavy and I have to fight to stay awake. Little Justin is crying in my arms and I am feeling desperate as I seem unable to comfort him. In the other room Will is reading a bed time story to Ari, and downstairs the dishes and the laundry are waiting for our attention. No-one told me what it would be like. No-one told me that having two children means you never sleep. It takes me another hour of walking round and round through the bedroom to calm my little boy down. Even though I am tired I love the feeling of his little warm body in my arms, and when I finally put him in his crib I suddenly feel a bit cold. I walk downstairs and find Will sorting out laundry. The dishes have been done and when our eyes meet I realise he looks just as tired as I do. I walk towards him and pull the shirts out of his hands:

"Let's go to bed and get some sleep."

He shakes his head and points at the piles on the floor:

"We need to do this now or none of us will have anything to wear tomorrow."

I smile and while I pull him against me I whisper:

"I prefer you without clothes anyway."

I feel how he leans his head in the crook of my neck and I stroke his back. His arms lock around my waist and we just stand there for a while. We softly talk about what we have scheduled for the next day and as I am working an early shift he insist of doing the 'night rounds'. I resist only a little bit as I am thankful I can try to actually have a night sleep before I have to go to work. I lean back and want to pull him with me, but instead he pulls free and smiles softly:

"You go to bed, babe, I'll do this…"

I sigh and shake my head:

"I should help you…"

He shrugs and starts loading the washing machine with clothes:

"I'm sure I can someday find a way for you to make it up to me…"

I nod and smile weakly:

"OK… don't stay here too long… I sleep better with you beside me."

This time he looks up and he quickly walks over to me. His hands lock around my neck and the air is pushes out of me when he leans in for a mind blowing intense kiss. When he lets me go I have to blink a few times to make sure the room isn't spinning around me. When my eyes find his he smiles widely and raises his eyebrows:

"I thought you were going to bed and get some sleep…"

My hand reaches for the doorknob and I sigh:

"Not fair… I really need some sleep and you go and do that…"

When I turn around again just before I close the door he is biting his bottom lip and his hand goes through his hair. I stop in my tracks and squint my eyes:

"Will Horton, now you are just being mean…"

He doesn't answer, but the sweet stare in his eyes says more than a thousand words. So all I say is:

"I really love you."

I close the door behind me but feel like I am walking on air when I hear his voice:

"I love you too."

(…)

It never fails. Will just arrived at the club with Ari and Justin in their joined stroller and everyone is fussing over the kids. I am leaning on the bar while I watch the scene unfold before me. While Abi, Kate, and Sami are fighting over our kids, Will walks over to the bar. He leans over it to softly kiss my lips, and when he pulls back I immediately lean forward to sneak a second kiss. He smiles and I say:

"I hope we get our kids back at some point…"

"Well, to be honest, I am going to enjoy these minutes where my kids are looked after by their aunts and grandmothers…"

He turns around so he can oversee the whole club and I teasingly pull his hair backwards:

"Had a rough day, honey?"

He reaches out to catch my wrist. He laces our fingers together while turning back to look at me:

"I seriously think they are already teaming up against me, Son."

I laugh and he continues dramatically:

"Yeah… go ahead and laugh… but I am sure that our kids are going to destroy us someday."

I squeeze his hand and then pull back to make him a cup of coffee. I expect him to turn around to watch the kids, but when I look at him my eyes meet his intense gaze. I can't help the blush that immediately covers my cheeks and he smiles:

"You are cute when you blush…"

I decide to ignore his teasing and instead I put the coffee in front of him:

"This will give you some energy for the rest of the day."

"Thanks…"

Sami walks over to the bar with Ari in her arms.

"Will, Sonny, I don't want to beg here, but I think I deserve a grandma day soon…"

I look at Will who meets my eyes over his coffee cup. He nods and I smile widely to my mother-in-law:

"I think that is a great idea…"

She smiles and as always doesn't waste time making plans:

"OK, I will pick them up tomorrow morning."

She walks back to join the rest at the table and I feel Will's hand on my arm.

"Please tell me you don't have to work tomorrow?"

I shake my head:

"Empty diary so far…"

He smiles the brightest smile I have seen in weeks and then he takes his last sip of coffee. When he stands up he gives me a firm kiss, and then another one. His whisper is full of promise:

"I can't wait…"

(…)

I look at Will holding Justin close against his chest. For months I have been thinking about this and I have to say that in real life it is even better. Just like Ari is my daughter, Justin is his son, and I love the way they already love each other. I hold the door open and see the hesitation in his eyes:

"I hate this, Sonny…"

I smile and shake my head:

"Do you remember when Ari needed her shots? You were more upset than she was…"

"It is a needle Sonny, a big needle."

He is whispering those words while covering our son's ears with his hand. Although it is terribly cute I shake my head and push him inside:

"Will Horton, stop being a baby."

We ask the receptionist where to go and soon we are in the waiting room. I feel the tension in Will's body and I wrap my arm around his shoulder:

"Just be a big boy…"

He doesn't take his eyes of Justin while he says:

"He is always a big boy, Sonny."

"I meant you, babe…"

Now he looks up and he bites his bottom lip:

"You can make all the fun you want, I hate this bit of parenting…"

I don't say anything and just stroke his back. But he quickly continues:

"You know… You are going to enjoy our dentist visits…"

I look at him slightly shocked and see the triumph on his face. I pull my arm back so I can push his shoulder:

"Shut up Will…"

He just laughs and leans forward to kiss Justin's forehead and whisper softly:

"Your daddy I afraid of the dentist…"

I shake my head and sigh. Then I lean close and after I kissed Justin's forehead I whisper:

"Your daddy is afraid of a little needle, let's show him some Kiriakis courage today, baby boy…"

Will's sits up straight to look at me:

"Kiriakis courage… are you kidding me… I'll make sure he will have the Horton toughness…"

I laugh out loud and realise that several people around us are laughing with me. I shake my head and look at my husband:

"Well, tough guy, in a minute they are going to stick your son with a needle…"

He cringes and I can't help feeling sorry. I lean into him and kiss his cheek:

"Don't worry, I will hold your hand."

He sighs and I feel how he leans against my body:

"I'm going to hold you to that."

My heart swells with happiness and love when I see the way he nuzzles close to Justin, and I just say:

"On one condition…"

He doesn't stop what he is doing when he asks:

"What is that?"

"If you hold mine when we have to take Ari and Justin to the dentist…"

I wrap my arm around his shoulders again and he leans against me with a smile on his beautiful face:

"Deal…"

We both look up when we hear our name, and while we follow the nurse I softly hear him whisper in our little boy's ear:

"Don't worry baby boy… your dad's Kiriakis courage is going to get both of us through this…"

(…)

He looks slightly lost and I am sure I look exactly the same. It is almost Christmas and we are out buying presents for our children. We decided to look for Ari first and we find ourselves surrounded by dolls in all different sizes. I look around and when my eyes meet his I make a face:

"Now what…"

He shrugs and reaches out to one of the dolls, but the moment he touches it starts crying. He quickly pushes it back on the shelf and looks at me with wide eyes:

"I didn't know they make sounds…"

I grab another one from the shelf and read the description.

"Will… this one pees."

"What?"

"Never mind…"

I push it back and sigh:

"So… do we need to give her a doll or can we go for something else…"

Will looks around while he says:

"I'd like to give her a doll… my mum once said she still has her first doll…"

"OK, a doll it is then."

I look at him when I realise he is staring at me:

"What Will…?"

"When I met you I never would have thought I would one day be buying a doll for our daughter with you."

His eyes are soft and light blue and I smile:

"I like it though…"

He nods happily. And then we start looking for the right doll for our precious little girl, until we hear a familiar voice.

"Will… Sonny…"

"Mum."

I hug my mother and Will quickly follows. She smiles while gesturing around her:

"I didn't expect to see both of you here…"

Will fills her in on our mission and slightly insecure she suggests:

"I think I could help you…"

I can't help but laugh out loud when I hear Will's sincere answer:

"Please… I am lost in here."

A few minutes later we have a present for Ari and we give my mum a big thank-you-hug. She smiles, happy that she could help us with this. I invite her and dad over for dinner and then we are on our way to the boys department. As lost as we were before, we are immediately back to our childhood days when we see all the little boy toys. But despite our enthusiasm we have the same kind of trouble because all the stuff we like is not yet suitable for little Justin. After a while I lose Will and when I find him I can see in his eyes that he has made up his mind. In his hand he is holding a music box and he immediately shows me the different classical tunes.

"This is perfect Sonny, we can turn this on when he goes to sleep."

I look at him and fight the urge to kiss him in the middle of the toy store:

"Will, honey, we can just put on the music player…"

He looks at me slightly bewildered and then he pleads:

"Please Sonny, that is not the same… this is… you know… for baby bedtime…"

I smile:

"Did you have one of these?"

He nods and then points his baby blue eyes straight at me:

"When I could pull the cord myself, I would turn it on when mum and dad would be fighting downstairs."

This time I don't care that there are people at the other end of the path and I just pull him close and kiss him softly on his lips. When I let go I whisper:

"That is our Christmas shopping done…"

He pulls back and frowns:

"You're not buying me anything?"

I grab the box he is still holding and walk towards the counter:

"Don't worry babe, you will like your present."

When we are standing outside with two bags our eyes meet and I immediately know he is not yet happy with my answer.

"So did you buy my present yet…?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Sonny…"

"Will Horton… grow up."

When we arrive at my car and we are standing on either side while I try to find my keys to open the doors, our eyes meet again. And I smile happily when he says:

"It's OK, you don't have to tell me… I still think Santa already gave me everything I want anyway…"

(…)

The moment I open the door I hear their voices. I follow Ari's high voice and soon realise they are all in the bathroom. When I push the door open I feel my heart swell with happiness. In front of me I find my two kids in the bathtub while Will is kneeling next to it to hold Justin. Ari is wearing her safety belt and she is happily splattering in the water. I take off my coat and drop it on the floor without giving it another thought. I kneel down next to Will and without hesitation I wrap my arms around him and I kiss him firmly on his lips, twice. He smiles and lifts Justin out of the water so I can kiss his little face. Then I reach out and pull my wet, happy daughter close for a hello kiss. She splatters some water my way and laughs when I splatter it right back.

"I'm glad you're home."

I look at him and smile:

"Me too."

"Busy?"

I nod and ask him:

"Did you do some writing today?"

He nods and I feel how he leans towards me. His shoulder leans against mine and I enjoy the warmth from his body. We play with the children, while continuing our conversation about the things we have to do and the activities we have planned for the coming days. Eventually, I pull Ari out of the bath and get her ready for bed, while Will looks after Justin. As a big sister Ari wants to help getting Justin to bed and once he is all tucked in we read her a bed time story. After a goodnight kiss from both of us we return to the bathroom to clean it up. I smile when we walk in:

"Wow, this looks like a battlefield."

I pick up a few yellow ducks and throw the towels in the laundry basket. Suddenly I feel two strong hands on my hips turning me around. He pulls my hips against his, while he reaches out to push the door closed. Almost immediately my body is pressed up against it while his lips are on my neck. A moan escapes when he sucks on my skin long enough to make sure it is still visible tomorrow. When he pulls back to look into my eyes he whispers:

"I want to take a shower…"

His hands are already opening the buttons of my shirt and I shiver when they touch my naked skin. His lips are against mine when he whispers again:

"Care to join me?"

His hands are determined and soon we are naked and he pushes me into the shower cabin. When the door closes behind him I pull back to look into his eyes, dark with want. I wanted to say something, but the way he looks at me makes me all confused and my brain goes fussy. And while his lips suck another red mark on my skin I just let everything go. And when his hands reach between us I wrap my arms around his neck to make sure I won't fall. And his whisper echoes in my head while we make sweet love:

"Perfect is the word…"

…

Later that night, when we are wrapped up in each other, while using only one pillow, we hear a softly cry. We decide to get up together and the moment we lean over Justin's little crib he reaches out and I pick him up. When we walk past Ari's room we hear her little voice call out for us and moments later Will carries her towards our bedroom. We both lie on a side of the bed and the kids are snuggling between us. And while we watch them fall asleep again I reach over and catch his hand. Over the two sleepy children our eyes meet and I sigh happily. He squeezes my hand and leans over it to press a kiss against my skin:

"Our family…"

**Hope you all like it. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Sonny's POV**

I never thought I find myself here again. My back is hurting from the terrible chairs in the waiting room, and around me are family members and friends. My mother and Will's mother are sitting on either side or Ari and trying to comfort her. Justin is sitting next to EJ and despite everything I realise how close they are. Just like then, my father is sitting next to me and I know Lucas is not far away. I take a deep shaking breath and listen to my father's promise:

"He is going to be OK… he has too much to live for…"

He was teaching a class today, English literature, and one of the students got up, shot him, and walked out of the class room. We hear about so many shootings on schools, but never would I think it would involve him. Again he was shot in his stomach and I can just wait and pray for the best. I see how Ari breaks loose from her grandmothers and she walks straight to me. Despite her 13 years she sits down on my lap and hides her face against my neck. I immediately wrap her up in my arms and whisper:

"He is going to be OK, honey… We just have to wait a little bit."

She nods, but doesn't move and inch. Justin sits down next to me and one of my arms finds its place around his shoulders. I am happy that they come to me while they are upset, but I don't know if I have the words to make them feel any better. My heart is broken and I hate how familiar this all feels. I suddenly realise how small Ari was then and despite everything is smile. Justin looks at me and asks:

"Why are you smiling, dad?"

"Before you were born… actually, is was on the day that Ari was born, daddy was shot too. And I just realised how things have changed since then… how lucky we are to have two healthy children…"

I plant a kiss in Ari's hair and she sits up to look at me:

"Dad once said his best memory of his hospital stay was when you brought him union rings…"

I smile when I remember how he spilled ketchup on his gown and how I took some time to attend to the stain, which was a perfect excuse to feel the warmth of his body through the thin material.

"Do you have a best memory dad?"

My mind immediately goes back to the moment I walked in to take him home.

"_Hey…"_

"_Hey…"_

_I try to hide my worries over the stupid video mix up and smile at my cute boyfriend. I don't know how he does it but even in a hospital gown he looks irresistible to me. The way his big blue eyes look at me tell me I am not doing a very good job at hiding my worries. Although I really want to keep this quiet, I like the way he knows me well enough to know how I feel. _

"_What's wrong… I know something is…"_

_I try to move away from this subject but he insists. Eventually I say:_

"_I'm telling you nothing is wrong."_

"_Yes there is… see…"_

_His eyes sparkle teasingly when he points at my face. _

"_I knew it… you get wrinkles everywhere when something is bugging you."_

_I love that he can read my face, and that I don't have to say anything because he knows anyway, just like I can do with him. But I don't want to fill him in on the video thing yet so I say as convincingly as I can:_

"_No, I'm just bugged because I had to close the coffee house early to take you home. And you are giving me the third degree about something that isn't even happening."_

"_Alright, alright…"_

_I can see on his face he is letting it go for now and I am pretty sure at some point he will ask me about it again. HE changes the subject though, and I am happy to follow his lead._

"_Thanks though, because I cannot wait to get out of this place."_

_He pushes the blankets away from him and I see that his stomach is still hurting. _

"_Well, I brought you some clothes, want me to help you get dressed?"_

_The teasing twinkle is back in his eyes:_

"_No no no, you are better at getting me undressed."_

_It took me all my self-control to not launch myself on top of him, ripping the gown apart and have my way with him right there. But somehow I managed to just walk over to him and lean in for a soft tender kiss after I promised:_

"_All in good time mister…"_

_His little happy laugh was enough to promise myself we would have the evening to ourselves, even if I had to kick people out of our apartment. _

"Dad… your favourite memory?"

I suddenly remember they want to hear about my favourite memory when he was in hospital years ago. I cannot hide the red that covers my cheeks and I decide this memory might not be the most appropriate to share with our children. So instead I tell them about another moment dear to my heart.

_He woke up. He actually woke up and I could sit here forever just staring at him being alive in front of me. He is holding little Ari in his arms and I can feel the emotions written on his face. His mother is fussing over all of us, and for some reason I actually like it. I didn't really liked it when she told Will I delivered the baby though. I wanted to tell him that at some point, when we were together and he would be a bit stronger, but now I have to tell the whole story because he is demanding to hear it. After I finished he turns to the little girl in his arms:_

"_You are one lucky little lady, you had Sonny Kiriakis looking out for you from day one. Oh my god… I love you…"_

_I know he is emotional as his voice changes into a whisper. I want to make a picture of this moment and imprint it on my heart because right in front of me is everything I live for. When his eyes look up to meet mine, my heart skips a beat. And when he softly whispers again I can feel my whole life fall into place:_

"_And I love you…"_

_His blue eyes are mirrors of his soul and all I can do is lean over him:_

"_I love you too…"_

_When I kiss his lips I see how he closes his eyes, and when I pull back I realise how he keep his eyes closed for a little while longer, and perhaps that tells me even more about the way he loves me than the words he just whispered. _

When I finished my story I see how Justin crinkles his nose. His eyes quickly find Ari's and as always they team up and make fun of us:

"Wow dad… you two are so cheesy…"

"You asked for it, kids…"

Everyone is laughing and for a short moment the tension seems to be a little less. It is Lucas who comes to my rescue:

"You kids should be happy that your dads are still crazy about each other…"

Ari stands up and gives Lucas a hug:

"We are happy about that… but it is so much fun to tease them about it…"

Suddenly the doctor walks into the waiting room and I stand up. He shakes my hand and smiles:

"All is well, he is very drowsy and will probably sleep a lot in the coming 24 hours…"

I shake his hand again, unable to find words to tell him how grateful I am. He smiles and asks:

"If you would like to sit with him for a while?"

I nod, but before I can follow him I feel Ari's hand in mine:

"Dad, tell him we love him…"

I gather both my children in a big hug and then pull them with me to follow the doctor. When he sees it is the three of us he hesitates. I plead:

"Only for a minute… they just need to see him, and he needs to see them."

Luckily I convinced him and moments later we walk into the room together. The doctors was right, he is very drowsy. But the moment Ari kisses his cheek his eyes flutter open. Just like year ago his blue eyes seem to be even larger when he is in a hospital bed.

"Hi."

He can only whisper but it is the best sound I have ever heard. He smiles weakly at the kids and after they told him how much they love him, it is finally my turn. I just lean in and softly kiss his lips. When I let go I see how his eyes are still closed. He doesn't open them and just whispers:

"Kiss me again… you always kiss me twice…"

I smile and happily press our lips together for a second time:

"I love you babe…"

"I love you too…"

I promise him I will come back after I have taken the kids home and he just whispers:

"Hurry please…"

Then I walk over to Ari and Justin and before they can say anything, I say:

"We will probably hear this for the rest of our lives, won't we… it doesn't get any cheesier than that…"

They both laugh and Ari pushes her arms through mine:

"It might come up at some point…"

I sigh dramatically, but lovingly squeeze her arms against my waist. See looks at Justin and then she says:

"We might tease you with it… but never ever stop being like that…"

Now I am the one laughing and I can easily make this promise:

"Never…"

**Will's POV**

We are having a fight. A serious one this time about where to celebrate Thanksgiving. I wanted to stay at home, but Sonny agreed to the whole family going to his parent's house, and he didn't even ask me. He has done that more often, making decisions for all of us without asking and this time I could no longer keep quiet. We ended up shouting at each other and he then left to go for a walk. I am sitting at the dining room table and look up when I see our children, now 15 and 13 year old, standing in the doorway. They look a bit unsure of what to do and I just raise my eyebrows. Ari dares to begin:

"We could hear you upstairs…"

I suddenly realise how loud we were and how they must have been sitting upstairs, whishing we would make up. I remember the days I sat in my little room, covering my ears with my hands until my father would leave and my mother would slam the doors. I blush and say softly:

"I'm so sorry…"

They both walk over and take a seat, and I see how Justin wants to ask something.

"What's up Justin?"

"I dad coming back?"

He is firing the question at me and I cannot help but feeling guilty.

"Of course he will come back…"

Ari's high voice comes in:

"Are you going to make up?"

I look at our two worried children and I nod:

"Of course we are, we just had an argument…"

Justin is nervously playing with a pen that was lying on the table and I reach out to take it from his fiddling fingers. His brown eyes are big and sad when he says:

"It sounded like you two didn't love each other… didn't even like each other."

I shake my head and meet his eyes with mine, while I reach out to hold Ari's hand:

"We will always love each other… always."

None of us hear the front door open and we are unaware of how Sonny stops in his tracks before he pushes the kitchen door open further. Instead he leans against the wall to listen to our conversation. Justin is not yet convinced:

"How do you know that, dad?"

"Because I just do, from the moment we met we have loved each other so that is not suddenly going to change because we have an argument…"

They smile back at me and then Ari asks softly:

"Tell us about that, dad?"

"About what…"

"How you two met and stuff."

I am not sure what to tell them or how to tell them and then Justin says:

"Dad once said you were friends first…"

I nod and start telling our children about when Sonny and I first met.

_The moment I see them I cannot keep my eyes from the dark haired stranger Abigail is hugging. For some reason I find him attractive, but I push that away while I walk towards them. _

"_Where is Gabi going?"_

"_To call her mum, she is in the hospital."_

"_Oh that is too bad… Sonny… this is my cousin Will, the one I am always talking about..."_

"_Oh hey dude, how are you… it is nice to meet you after all these years."_

_He grabs my hand while his eyes find mine. For some reason I feel nervous and slightly confused. _

"_Yeah… euhm... so you two are…"_

_I feel a bit worried about hearing the answer because for some reason I really want him to be single._

"_Related…"_

"_Oh…"_

_The colour in my face is slightly fading. I can't help but thinking that we must be related too and I don't like that._

"_Sonny is my cousin too, his parents are my uncle Justin and aunt Adrienne…"_

_I feel immediate relieve as I realise we are not related, but I am confused:_

"_But I thought you name was Jackson…"_

"_Well it is, but there are so many Jacksons in my class and in my family, so everyone started calling me Sonny…my parents hate it though…"_

_I disagree with his parents. I like how he is called Sonny because I think it suits him much better than Jackson. His smile, his face, and the happiness that radiates from him makes me think 'Sonny' is just the right name for him. _

"_I'm so sorry… it is nice to meet you."_

_I grab his hand again, not sure if it is to make up for my confusion or whether I just want to feel his touch again. _

It is Justin interrupting my story about our first meeting:

"Was it love at first sight?"

"Well… I don't know about love… but I really, really liked him and wanted to see him again."

It is quiet for a while and then I continue:

"You know… at that time I didn't want to believe that I liked boys. So I wasn't ready to fall in love with a boy… I had to come to terms with myself first."

Ari nods and smiles:

"Great grandma Marlena once told me it took you a while."

I frown and look at her:

"Why do you discuss that with great grandma Marlena…?"

She shrugs and explains:

"Remember that essay I had to do about finding yourself? You said I might want to talk to great grandma Marlena about that and I did… and I don't remember how we got to you, but somehow we did…"

I am not sure what to think of that and she must see that from my facial expression. She stands up and hugs my neck from behind while kissing my cheek:

"Don't worry, all she said is that it took you a long time, but that one day you said to her you were a gay man… at the coffee house… and how you two went for some ice cream at the Horton Square."

I smile when thinking about that memory and then Justin asks:

"So did you tell my dad?"

I nod and my smile gets even brighter.

"I did… I went to the coffee house, while he was closing up and I pretended to come over just to help him. And he asked me how my day went and I just listed everything I had done including coming out to grandma Marlena."

"So what did he say…"

"Congratulations."

"That's it?"

I hear the unbelief in their voices and shrug:

"Yeah, what did you expect…?"

Ari starts giggling and says:

"Well he always says he loved you from the very first time he saw you… he could have said something about that…"

I frown:

"Well when I told him I am gay didn't automatically mean I was in love with him…"

"But you where…"

"Yeah, but…"

"Wow, even then you two messed up big time."

"Hey now…"

As always they manage to team up against me. We all laugh and I shake my head:

"I will not tell you anything else then, you're just making fun of us…"

"Just one more thing, dad…"

When I see Justin's brown eyes focused on mine I know this going to be about the fight we had today.

"Did you fight like today before? Because if you did, then you obviously made up and I don't have to worry anymore…"

I nod almost immediately:

"Oh we fought, especially when we just started going out and Sonny didn't like Ari's mum very much... And we once fought in the park and then grandpa EJ saw us and told us to behave ourselves…"

"And you always made up?"

I smile happily:

"Always, we always made up…"

"OK, I'll go do my homework then… and let's hope dad comes home soon."

The kids walk up the stairs and I then I hear the kitchen door being pushed open. He is standing there with his coat still on.

"Hi."

"Hi."

He walks towards me, but avoids my eyes when he holds still in front of me. I hold my breath when he softly says:

"You know… when you came out to me I really wanted to tell you how much I loved you… I really did… and when you hugged me I didn't want to let you go…"

"Sonny?"

"I was behind the door and didn't want to interrupt… or maybe… maybe I just needed to hear you talk about us for a while…I don't know."

I reach out and hug him close to me. His arms lock around my waist and his softly whispered I-love-you sends shivers down my spine. With a deep sigh I whisper:

"They were worried we wouldn't make up anymore…"

"Yeah… we shouldn't make them witness our arguments again."

I nod against his neck and softly kiss his skin.

"I'm sorry I said to my mum we would spend Thanksgiving there… I will cancel it."

I shrug:

"Let's ask the kids what they want and then decide."

He squeezes my waist and I smile:

"You know, we should let them know we made up again…"

I try to pull back but his arms are tightly around me when he whispers in my ear:

"I remember previous make up sessions and they were much, much better…"

His hands find their way under my shirt and I feel how he softly sucks on my earlobe.

"Sonny…"

It is only a weak whisper of resistance, and I let him kiss wet trails across my neck and cheeks. After he opened the second button of my shirt and my lips have found his we suddenly jump apart when we hear two voices:

"In the middle of the living room, dads? Really….?"

In shock we look at our children, but then Justin smiles while pulling his sister behind him up the stairs again:

"Let's forget what we saw and just be happy they made up…"

I am still in shock when I feel Sonny's hands buttoning up my shirt. He smiles:

"It'll have to wait for later…"

His kiss is a promise of what is to come and I just lean in and whisper happily:

"Can't wait."

**Someone asked me to include memories of Sonny just after Will was shot. I have done a fic on Sonny's feelings about that before which is called scars. So here I went for some scenes when Will was awake again. **

**Thank you all for reading. Please leave a review as it is nice to hear what you think!**


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